True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Someone came in the potted fern
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
