"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Soap is not a condiment
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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