Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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