So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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