I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
