i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm always down for nudity.
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