whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
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