Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
