some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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