my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
