i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
