You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
