JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
PS: I just woke up from my shower
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
