you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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