Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
