We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
