This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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