Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
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We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize