God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
love makes seman taste better
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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