belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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