ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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