my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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