I just threw up on my dentist
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
