I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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