she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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