The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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