You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
