I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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