Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
