Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We need to rekindle our bromance
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
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