so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
