I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
