Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
