Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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