So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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