Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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