well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
