hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she smelled like a LAN party
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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