I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I love having hate sex.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
