He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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