I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
