Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
