wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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