yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
