oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
