i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
