I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
