Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
