he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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