you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
