i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
