Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
