the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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