Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
