i can't believe i had my finger in that
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
