i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize