At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
