Duck Duck Cougar?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's blow job season.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
