I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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