fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
